I received an e-mail listing the top 15 things to do in Wal-Mart. Enjoy.
- Take boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they weren’t looking.
- Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
- Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to ladies restroom.
- Walk up to an employee and tell her in an official voice,’code 3 in housewares, get on it right away’.
- Go to the service desk and try to put a bag of m&ms on layaway.
- Move a ‘caution wet floor’ sign to a carpeted area.
- Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers they can come in if they bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
- When a clerk offers assistance begin crying and scream ‘Why can’t you people leave me alone?’
- Look into a security camera and use it as a mirror to pick your nose.
- While handling a rifle in the hunting department, ask the clerk where the antidepressants are.
- Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
- In the auto department, practice your ‘Madonna look’ by using different size funnels.
- Hide in a clothing rack and when people walk by whisper ‘pick me pick me’.
- When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker assume the fetal position and scream ‘OH NO IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’
- Go into a fitting room, shut the door, wait awhile and the yell ‘Hey there’s no toilet paper in here!’
